After having an amazing first year of high school, I was now a sophomore. I was happy, I was having fun! And that’s when I met George. George was sweet, funny, handsome, and smart. When George approached me, I immediately felt butterflies. Why did he want me of all people? I was so shocked to find out that he was crushing on me. We became friends and talked for awhile, but it wasn’t long before George and I made things official. He was my first real boyfriend.
I had never had anything like this before. We had become inseparable, we did everything together. We’d sit together at lunch and we always hungout outside of school. He met my family and I met his. I thought, this is it, this is the person I want to marry. It didn’t take long before George and I started saying we love each other. We were young, me 15 and him 16 at the time, but it felt so real. After being together for 4 months, George decided it was time that we take our relationship to the next level. George wanted to take my virginity.
It wasn’t until then that I realized that I was in too deep. A part of me felt like I had to let him take it, like it was the only way that I could keep him any longer. I thought about it and thought about it, and one day I finally thought that I was ready. That morning at school, I was eating breakfast with George and I told him that I was ready. We decided that I would ride his bus after school and go to his house. It was a four day weekend that time, so we didn’t have school the next day or that upcoming Monday. All day, George was the only thing on my mind. I could hardly focus in my classes, my emotions were going back and forth between excitement, anxiety, and fear. I had no clue how things would go.
Finally, the final bell had rung. It was time to go. I went outside and met George where we always met at the end of the day, and then he led me to his bus. He had his arm around me the entire ride, and I know he could tell that I was a nervous wreck on the inside even though I tried so hard to hide it. He kept asking if I was ok, and I kept saying that I was great, with a little smile and a quick kiss each time. The bus ride felt like an eternity even though it was only 20 minutes. And then, here we were. We were at his house. We had a few hours before his mom would get home from work, so he turned on a movie, popped some popcorn, and we laid back on his bed.
Not far into the movie, he started to kiss me. I knew what this meant, it was time. He kept kissing and kissing me for awhile, and then he slid his hands down my pants. This wasn’t the first time he had touched me down there, but it felt like it at that moment. As he started kissing me lower and lower while removing my bottoms, my heart was beating at what felt like 1000 beats per minute. He then came back up face to face and whispered in my ear so softly, “Are you ready?” I nodded my head yes, because I couldn’t manage to get a word out of my mouth. He took off his pants and continued kissing me and my nerves grew. He put on a condom, and right before he was about to put it in, “WAIT! Baby, stop!” I wasn’t ready. I thought I was but once the moment came, I realized that I wasn’t. I couldn’t do it.
I began crying as I pulled my clothes back on. George’s face was full of disappointment, but he assured me that he understood and that it was fine. He wiped the tears off my face, kissed me, and told me he loves me. I couldn’t help but smile. We laid back down, cuddled, and finished watching the movie.
Not long after finishing a second movie, George’s mom came home and gave me a ride to my house. Again, George and I had exchanged kisses and “I love you’s” as he walked me to my front door. I told him to call me when he made it home, which he did. We talked all night and he kept telling me how much he loved me. He was perfect, I had the perfect boyfriend, or so I thought…
The next two days, I hadn’t heard from George at all. I attempted to contact him through numerous text messages and phone calls, but I didn’t get any answers. Finally, the next morning, I woke up to a text from George. I couldn’t believe it, he wanted to break up! “Taylor,” said the text, “I don’t think you are ready to have the type of relationship that I want. I love you, but I think we should take time apart to find out what we both want. I’m sorry things have to end this way, goodbye.”
I can’t believe this! Did he really dump me through a text message!? I couldn’t hold back the tears that began to flow, he dumped me because I wasn’t ready to give him my virginity. I thought that he loved me for who I was, not for what I could or couldn’t give him. I was shattered, I spent the entire day crying. If only I knew then what I know now, but that was the beginning of a cycle of heartbreaks.